Had an eye opening moment today. I clung on to my weekly rituals and decided to do my Sunday cleaning. I started with my bedroom and ultimately did not get very far due to a very stunning find. I was looking underneath my bed for any type of clutter, and I found a plastic bin I had been meaning to clean out for years. I didn’t expect anything of it. Over time I just threw in every scrap paper, coin, and magazine that found its way into my room in there, and it slowly accumulated. After delving in and skimming off the surface of recent items, I got to trinkets and paper I had put in there LONG ago. Items that have survived three houses, two divorces, and 13 years of confinement. And the weight of what I was looking at was overwhelming: There were doodles and loving cards written by me and my once-stepsister that we made back in 2000, there were Polaroid and Walmart-Developed photographs of me when I had my first Christmas in Oklahoma. The sense of nostalgia was extremely overwhelming. I almost began to tear up. I dug in more and a accidentally placed term paper from Freshman year broke the steady pattern of memories, and all this got me to my extreme realization. Life really never stops. I look back at the innocence of those days, where something as simple as a tree changing colors was as exiting as winning the lottery. But the stress and pace of growing up forces you to change, priorities such as riding your bike turns into studying five hours for a mid-term. And these unfortunate circumstances that we naturally go through literally rip the innocence from people’s lives. Yet the clock never stops ticking. Life ALWAYS goes on. Priorities change. People change. Friends come and go. Even sometimes Parents come and go, and you just have to keep on truckin’. I used to dwell on the past, I used to mourn the parents, siblings, and best friends that I’ve lost. But that’s all changed. I’ve become stronger, I’ve clung to the memories and understand that that’s all I’ll have from now on. I’ll keep my priorities where they need to be, in God, My family, and my future, and sadness can only bring me down. Keeping your head held high and your faith in God will lead you in the right direction. Leaving the past behind and always being grateful for what’s still here is a large step in making life easier. We are all just on this huge train wreck of a place called life, and we’ve got to make our way through it. You might walk out with some minor cuts and bruises, but I believe it is all worth it in the end.
Intent 