Left Behind

“We cannot hoard away the people we loved, experiences we treasured, jobs we adored; in hopes that they will never be tainted or touched by anyone else. Better we give them up, send them out into the world, let someone else feel the same way we once did, and accepting that the word, “forever” is rarely meant for our reach. and rightfully so.

We are never left with empty arms.

As we make the decision to leave the past behind, we pick up new facets of this lifetime that will help us grow another part of ourselves, but we must be willing to drop things to pick up new ones. We need to leave some things behind so we are not left behind instead.”

I’m a Serve-ivor

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Volleyball. A simple game, but for my family: Not so much. I get a real kick out of how bad we can be at this game, but it is still something that we all can enjoy.

Now I woke up this morning without a clue to that we were going to spend hours playing this game while I should have been doing my stacks of homework, but at times you have to drop the silly responsibilities that can wait and do something that’s unexpected so you can have a story to tell later. This principle is a funny one, and it’s one that I try to use often. It’s not a sign of irresponsibility because I still will do my homework and whatever else has to be done, but now I’m going to do it with a smile on my face and another memory I didn’t expect to have. In a leadership role it’s entirely okay to take a break and have some fun for a change, as long as you still have time finish your goals (even if it is petty homework). People can get so caught up in getting something finished and having it done as soon as possible and continuing to stress about it until it’s finished. Chill.. It will get done. Do not miss out on a memorable opportunity. If it isn’t too extreme; Go ahead. If you have time; Do it. It’ll be worth it In the End. Trust me, you will not regret it.

Be the Person You Would Want to Meet

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatever a man sows, he shall also reap.

– Galatians 6:7

Being supremely analytical, this scripture can correlate to many things, but the primary principle that stands out to me is the simple fact that you shouldn’t ask for something you wouldn’t demand from yourself.

As a teen that tends to avoid unfortunate circumstances, or seems to have an overly average amount of intuition for his age, people tend to come to me for answers to their struggles and strifes. Sometimes the advice needed is not what is given, and sometimes I don’t have a definite answer for what they seem to be asking. Recently, this confounding moment happened to me, and it was difficult for me to cope with as I hate to not have answers to a question. The question was seemingly simple, very simple as a matter of fact. “Why do I put up with this?” they asked, and thinking intently about it for a period of time I came to the realization that there is a much deeper question inside. That question is simply what kind of person are you?

Most people feel the need for positive influences in their lives. People build and sculpt relationships and friendships based on the steep precipice of an idea that those friends inspire change in us good and bad; keeping the positive influences and removing the negative ones, but we neglect to ask ourselves if we are direct positive influences on ourselves? There’s a well renown quote that people know and repeat every day: ‘be the person you would want to meet.’ I couldn’t agree more. If we were to be the person we would want to meet, people like ourselves would gravitate towards us.

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A simple approach to this is to think intently about the traits you exhibit outwards towards others, good and bad. Then to interpret and understand those traits and comprehend which ones you possess as a reflection of your inside self. Do they match? Do you need to add or remove some to reflect your outward self? Realistically we all have something to change. Change is truthfully a never ending process as each little decision or obstacle to encounter molds us into who we are, but we alone hold the power to use it positively or negatively.

An authentic sense of ourselves is not inward, but outward. Love and compassion needs to flow out of us and not into us. We as humans need to exhibit as little selfishness as possible. We need to give as much as possible as ultimately ‘we reap what we sow.’ We not only need to look not only into our own interests, but also to the interests as others. The range in which we can seek out the interests in others is infinitely large, and if we give as much as we can give, listen as much as we can listen, and love as much we can love. It will be returned. It’s tremendous and fundamental; it’s just another one of those amiable traits worth it In the End.

Looking for Happiness? It’s Already Here

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Happiness. Unlike love, happiness is an emotion. Something individuals seek out to find and to cling on to. Happiness is subjective: meaning its particular to each person, but it all brings out the same outcome. Being happy. Some people seek happiness through hobbies, careers, and education. And primarily, other individuals seek happiness through other people. As a teenager, this trait is very prevalent. Someone needs another persons approval and attention to be content, and ultimately it ends in disappointment. As a teen, I catch myself in these situations often, but I swiftly remove myself from them. Individuals my age emphasize the need for a relationship, or constantly change their appearance or demeanor to find acceptance through other people. This frequently leads to individuals ending up in unfortunate situations and becoming friends with the wrong people. Nothing good comes out of looking for happiness and acceptance in others.

The key to happiness is seeking it through yourself. Learn to be independent and not interdependent. Love others, love everyone, but do not expect love in return. That’s the dependency on others. Do not expect anything in return.

Transitioning from interdependency to loving yourself is not and easy task, but you can start by asking yourself these questions:

1. Who do you love the most? Friends? Family? Keep them in mind.

2. Think about the heartfelt things for these people. Do you love them? How much? What would you do for them? What about them makes you happy?

3. Now, you would most likely tell these things to those individuals in which you love, but I want you to take all those words of affirmation, and turn them towards others, not those particular people, but everyone who needs it, even towards yourself.

I define love as unselfish, loyal, having benevolent concern for another, and having affection based on admiration. Use these words, reach out to others, show them the love and expect nothing in return. Actively go out and ease the sadness and suffering of others, for then you will find joy and happiness within yourself.

The best way to do this is through volunteering and through missions. Give as much as you can. Glorify God and show willingness and character in your community. We as individuals can do much, more than you can expect. Simple acts and words of kindness have a positive effect on others and yourself. Many people need company, and by God give it. Show affection, in any way possible. Expect more of yourself, and you will give more. Look outward, give outward, do everything outward, never inward. You will change lives, and ultimately change your own. It’s what gives life purpose, it’s what’s makes life worth it In The End.

Love Isn’t an Emotion: The Mathematics of Sustainment

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In modern society, there’s nothing more emphasized and written about than finding “the one” or seeking happiness through other people. Humans urge to feel love. Some humans urge to show love. Then there’s that majority who seek love through other people. This is one of the profound reasons why relationships fail.

Most relationships have a cycle, and there are three major transitions between them:

1. The beginning “excitement” stage where individuals anticipate their partners calls, need their approval, want their touch, and enjoy their idiosyncrasies.
2. The middle “contentment” stage where things begin to slow down, become less enjoying or exciting.
3. The last “dull” stage where all the original idiosyncrasies that you once enjoyed now are a burden. It’s a subsequent stage where individuals begin to wonder if their relationship is ‘worth it’. You begin to reflect back on when it was enjoyable and wonder what happened, and this is when things tend to break down and/or end.

The key to succeeding in a relationship isn’t looking for the right person through trial and error, but learning to love the person you’ve found.

Individuals blame their partners for their unhappiness and begin to search for outside sources of enjoyment such as through work, excessive hobbies, abusive substances, or even through another person, but the answer to the burning question doesn’t lie outside your relationship, but inside of it.

Sustaining love is not a passive, non laborious job. It takes effort, day in and day out. It takes energy. You have to understand what to do in order to continue. Love is not a mystery. Love is not an emotion. Love is an action, a decision so to speak. There are laws to relationships just as there are laws to Physics, if you fail at one thing, the results are predictable. God determines who walks into your life, it is your choice as to whom you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go of. That takes effort, emotional strife, and time. It might be hard, it might seem impossible, but its just another one of those things worth it In The End.